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August 20, 2013

Butt Crack

(originally posted October 10, 2011)

While sitting in the waiting room at a clinic I witnessed a humorous event:

There was a hefty woman in her twenties sitting opposite me, wearing jeans that appeared to be two sizes too small. She was sitting sideways in her chair speaking with another lady. Weather she knew, or not, her pants were not covering her butt; she was revealing more than anyone should see.

Seated close to her was a young man who just couldn't resist temptation. I watched as he blew a stream of air from his mouth toward the woman's visible crack. At first, there was no response from the woman. So, he tried again, and again. Finally, the woman felt the breeze and pulled up her pants. However, the next time she shifted in her seat, her crack reappeared. And again the man began to blow toward the crack.

The woman, sensing the breeze again, stood and adjusted her pants to cover the crack of her butt. She sat back down and continued conversing with the other lady. Unfortunately, when she sat down, she once again exposed herself.

At this point the young man was fighting back laughter, his grin as wide as the Grand Canyon. And he wasn't finished tormenting the woman, yet.

Again he blew a stream of air toward the visible crack. This got the woman's attention. She turned and began looking for the source of the draft. The guy quickly turn away, declaring his innocent.

The woman's name was called for service and she stood up and started walking away. The guy said, "Hey girl, when you're done, come out to my truck." The woman turned and looked at the guy. He added, "I've got some spackle for that crack!"

She was not amused. But I was!

August 12, 2013

Clean Ride

(Originally posted December 9, 2011)

A fellow co-worker told this story:

He had just started dating a girl and didn't know anything about her family. Too bad for him. Had he know more about the girls' father..., well, keep reading.

Determined to make a good impression he decided to do something special for the girl. He asked to borrow her car. When asked why, he smiled and said, "I've got a surprise for you."

He immediately drove the car to his place, just a few miles away. He pulled out a garden hose, bucket, car soap, sponge, shammy cloth, and hand-washed the car. When the car was clean and dry, he was exhausted.

After changing clothes he returned the car. Upon arriving, he asked the girl to come outside. She complied.

"Surprise!" he shouted. The girl was speechless.

"Did you clean this car yourself?" she asked.

"Sure did. And dried it with a shammy too!"

"Well, that was a nice gesture, but there is something you need to know. My dad owns the automatic car-wash down the street. I get my car washed for free."

Now, the guy was speechless...