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May 23, 2011

No! Don't throw it away!

Today I cleaned my backyard and took the junk to the county landfill. The attendant at the landfill directed me to back into slot #4 to unload of my trash.

The vehicle parked next to me in slot #3 was occupied by a woman and a toddler. The little boy stood quietly next to the woman--I assume was his mother--while she threw item after item into the dumpster. That was until the mother removed from her car a toy belonging to the little boy. It was a Big Wheel: a low riding tricycle made mostly of plastic. Before mom had a chance to heave the Big Wheel over the railing the child screamed, "NO! NO! Mommy, NO!! I want my Big Wheel!" He was having a fit.

The boy's mother said, "But it's broken. Look, this wheel is split and you can't ride it."

The child insisted, "No! Don't throw it away! We can get glue and fix it!"

The toy was obviously junk, but the child persisted. The argument continued back and forth for a solid minute, if not longer.

"OK!, OK!, we'll take it back home," said mom, as she placed it on the tailgate. "Now get in the car."

She buckled her son in his seat on the passenger side and closed the door. Then she proceeded to the drivers door...via the rear of the car. As she passed the tailgate, with one swift move, she flung the toy into the dumpster and slammed the tailgate closed.

I looked at the child, expecting an angry reaction. But the kid was clueless. Mom successfully pulled a fast-one.

Hummm..., I wonder what excuse she offered her son when they arrived home?

May 20, 2011

Too Many Calories

First, a discloser: I hold nothing against obese people. Actually, I feel bad for them. That said, I hope you are not offended by this blog entry.

This afternoon I was standing in line at McDonalds and overheard a costumer placing her order. This woman was huge! So huge her picture should appear next to the word "obese" in the dictionary. I'm talking 300 pounds plus!

She should have ordered a salad without dressing, but no. Instead she ordered a Big Mac, a cheese burger, large fries, a chocolate sundae, and to wash it down..., a large diet coke. A "diet" coke! As if that was going to help her lose weight.

I may think of this woman whenever I see a diet beverage for a long, long time to come...

May 18, 2011

It's a Minivan

I didn't observe the following first hand but it is humorous. Nearly twenty years ago my sister, Angela told this story. To this day, whenever I see a child riding in a minivan her story comes to mind:

Angela had a girlfriend who drove a minivan. One day she and her daughter, Sharon went for a ride in that van. Keep in mind, Sharon was no older than three at the time. After a short ride my sister asked her daughter, "Sharon, did you like riding in that minivan?"

"Yep," she answered, "Mommy, does she have a Mickey-van too?"

May 16, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Babes

While sitting on my front porch I saw a lady walking down the sidewalk closely followed by three girls. The first girl was a teenager, the second perhaps a fourth grader, and lagging behind was a child no older than three. All four were staring at cell phones in their hands, perhaps reading texts. Well, not all were actually cell phones. The child was carrying a toy with a screen pretending it was a phone.

It was amusing enough to witness four people walking in line operating cell phones. It looked like a mama duck leading her young. But, it was what the child said that made me laugh out loud.
"Ma, I jus' tex-id you. Did ya git it?"
Mother, busy typing on her phone, replied, "Yeah, I got it."
Child asked, "Well..., what it say?"