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June 13, 2011

Justice Served!

I was sitting in the public library reading and enjoying my hobby: people watching. Half way across the room set a group of preteen boys. They were admiring a group of young girls seated not far from them.

One boy was obviously smitten by one particular girl and tried desperately to gain her attention. He apparently lacked the social skills required to meet her. The boy would say her name aloud, then turn back to his book pretending he wasn't the one saying her name. Of course, the girl would look up each time to see who was calling her. This continued for several minutes.

Then, another boy at the table offered a trash ball and encouraged the smitten boy to toss it in the young lady's direction. He did. And the trash ball hit the girl directly on top of her head. All the boys laughed.

The girl, however, was not amused. She stood up, retrieved the wad of paper, and proceeded to walk toward the group of boys. The boys, one by one, pointed at the boy who threw the paper ball; they ratted him out.

The girl walked directly up to the boy and with one hand smashed the wad of paper on the table in front of him. Then, with her other hand, she slapped the kid in the back of his head. The slap was so hard it echoed through the library. As his peers laughed as hard as they could, the boy receiving the slap turned an interesting shade of red.

The girl didn't say a word. She returned to her female friends where she received a round of high-five.

Is there a moral to this story? If you have one, please comment.

June 1, 2011

Elderly Couple

So, there I was strolling through Wal-Mart, minding my own business, when a humorous event occurred: An elderly couple was trying to decide whether to buy pretzels or potato chips. The woman had a bag of chips in her hand and said to her husband, "Let's get these. I'm tired of pretzels."

The husband replied, "Chips will gum up your dentures."

"If I keep eatin' those hard pretzels I'm gonna break my dentures!" said the wife.

"Well then," snapped her husband, "take your dentures out and suck on the pretzels!" It was obvious the old man wanted pretzels and intended to stand his ground.

The wife inquired, "Why don't you want potato chips?"

"They gum up my dentures!" he said.

"Well, take 'em out and suck on them," she responded.

The battle lines were drawn: He desired pretzels and she craved potato chips. But who would win?

I left the snacks isle and continued my shopping. Twenty minutes later I arrived at the checkout and proceeded to place my items on the conveyer belt. In line behind me I heard the familiar voices of the elderly couple.

"But I don't want to take out my dentures just to eat a few damn chips," the man stated as the dispute continued.

Without missing a beat, his wife replied, "Harold, I just remembered, we need "Poligrip®."